Email for Breakfast

I’m having E-mail for breakfast
With a side of hashtags
Read the morning newsfeed
And group threads on WhatsApp

In my morning cup of coffee
I leave room for Tweets
I gotta check on Slack
Before I brush my teeth

I put down my laptop
And pick up my phone
The screen tag masks feelings
Of being alone

Oh I’m having E-mail
For breakfast
No nutrients, just a screen as I
Sit on my ass

I’m having Tinder for breakfast
Cause I’m so alone
I swipe right to every face
I see on my phone

I feel the rush of dopamine
As I get a match
I set up a date to try to
Get some snatch

I’m with a real person
And it’s going well
I can’t believe you brought me back
To your hotel

Oh I’m having E-mail
For breakfast
No nutrients, just a screen as I
Sit on my ass

Time to change the story
I cuddle you close
We start the morning right
Before we put on our clothes

I whisper sweet nothings
Into your ear
Right now it’s feeling good
Just to be right here

Today will not be starting
With a screen on my lap
Today’s the day I start the day
By fucking you in the ass

I’m not having E-mail
For breakfast (Not today, no way)
Today I get my first nutrients
From your ass

I’m having anal for breakfast
With a side of hashbrowns
By hash browns, I mean hash browns
You sick fuck, calm down

And as we continue,
I add some more lube
By lube, I mean lube
The ride needs to be smooth

And then I toss your salad
For a balanced meal
By toss your salad, I mean
Eat your ass

I’m not having E-mail
For breakfast (Not today, no way)
Today I get my first nutrients
From your ass

The next week, you went home
And I felt sad
I got my old primary
Back on my lap

I’m back to the morning
Routine of my past
Since I am no longer
Eating that ass

I’m having E-mail for breakfast
On my laptop and phone
The screen tag masks feelings
Of being alone

Oakland, California and New York, New York

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